Zim the Alien
by Invader Derp
Summary: AU of the Series. Most things are the same, just the storyline is different and has a story ark rather than be episodic. Dib is a 12 year old obsessed with paranormal, always being labeled as a freak and a weirdo, who believed in anything. But one day Dib believed in another thing. Zim being an alien, which he was of course. The story starts off the day Zim DISCONTINUED!
1. The Beginning

**A/N: Hey guys! Now that I finished Noobs of Noobcraft, onto my next story, except it'll be much longer than a fourshot. This is something that'll go on for a long time. It'll eventually end. But this will be something that'll be career-long or half of my fanfiction writing career. So anyway this will be much more serious than my other stories. Most of the time my stories like to follow the formula the show itself had and be all silly, funny, and such. And this story will have humor don't worry for the fans of my (Obviously) hilarious humor. This will be a long project, I might to have to hold it for other projects but I'll be working on this for a long time.**

 **Main Summary: AU of the Series. Most things are the same, just the storyline is different and has a story ark rather than be episodic. Dib is a 12 year old obsessed with paranormal, always being labeled as a freak and a weirdo, who believed in anything. But one day Dib believed in another thing. Zim being an alien, which he was of course. The story starts off the day Zim enrolled into "The City Middle Skool."**

 **Invader Derp Productions Persents:**

 **"Zim the Alien"**

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Dib's House

It was one fine morning. Dib was pouring himself some cereal as he smiled.

"What you smiling about you dork?" said a girl coming into the room.

"Gaz, I got accepted into the Swollen Eyeball Network!" Dib said.

Gaz lifted her eyebrow, "Hey stop eating all the cereal you pig." Gaz grabbed the cereal box from Dib's hand.

"Sorry got distracted, I'm just so excited, I have proof of a werewolf that I'm going to show off during my first meeting at the Swollen Eyeball Network. Agent Mothman, proving that werewolves do exist!" Dib said.

"I can prove something, that I can knock out all the teeth of a person at once when they don't shut up." Gaz said, obviously annoyed at Dib's "crazy," talk.

Skool

Dib walked into the his classroom, late, again.

"Dib that's the second time this month you've been tardy! If you get another tardy your going to be suspended." Said an old lady in the class.

"But Ms. Bitters-"

"Your butt is on your behind Dib, now get that butt and place it onto your desk." Ms. Bitters said, she then folded her hands behind her back, "So children we have a new, horrible student joining the classroom, his name according to this enrollment paper I was handed, is Zim."

Then this new, "kid," marched into the bedroom, he wore a pink shirt with stripes, had a metal backpack, a green head, completely unrealistic hair, eyes that completely looked unrealistic also, had no ears, and the rest of the things on his body I didn't describe were black, his gloves, black, his boots, black.

"Hello Earth specimen, my name, ZIIIIM! And we'll all go along just fine if you completely reject me, and ZIIIIM! Will think of you fine." Zim said.

"Wait wait wait! This kid isn't human, look at his head!" Dib yelled suddenly.

"Yeah what about it?" Zita asked.

"ITS GREEN! AND HAS NO EARS!" Dib said.

"Its uh... a skin condition! Yeah a skin condition!" Zim said trying to hide away the fact that he was truly an alien.

"And what about that metal backpack! No one in this class has a metal backpack!"

"I need it to survive, it contains my LIVING JUICE!" Zim said.

"Living juice!? LIVING JUICE!? There's no such thing!" Dib said, "And no one needs a backpack to survive!"

"Hey watch what you say around metal boy!" Brain said, a boy with a metal backpack walked up to Brain, Brain patted his back as he cried.

"And his dis-"

"Dib we've had enough of your foolish, crazy theories. So shut up!" Ms. Bitters said.

"You see! I've won foolish Earth specimen!" Zim said.

Skool Cafeteria

Dib was sitting with Gaz at their own table. Dib was talking about Zim while Gaz was playing on her Game Slave.

"So Gaz, there's this new 'kid,' his name is Zim, he has a horrible green, earless head. I know he's an alien I know it!" Dib ranted upon.

"Dib shhh. I'm trying to beat the- IT JUST KILLED ME!" Gaz then looked at Dib scary until he was running.

"I'll just sit alone." Gaz said.

Dib was over Zim's shoulder, noticing he wasn't eating the food.

"What are you doing over my shoulder you insane Earth worm!" Zim said.

"First I'm a human, second, how come your not eating your food." Dib asked.

"I uh, can eat the food." Zim slowly took a bite of it, once it touched his teeth he was spitting it everywhere. "THAT FOOD! ITS DISGUSTING!"

"More proof that your an alien Zim! You can't eat human made food!" Dib said.

"LIES! LIEES!" Zim said.

Dib shoved it up Zim's mouth, he was gagging and was on the floor twitching around.

"AAAAH! THE HUMAN FOOD! IT'S SLOWLY POISINING ME! AAAAAH!"

"I'll be there every step you try to destroy Earth Zim! I'll be your mortal enemy! MUHAHAHAHA-" Dib started violently coughing, "I should see someone about that."

"We'll see that Earth creature. Oh by the way a little, purple haired Earth worm is coming up to you."

Dib felt something tap his shoulder, he had a worried expression on his face, he turned his head around. Gaz. It was Gaz.

"I feel something wet around my underwear." Dib said.

Gaz looked down at Dib's pants. "You pee'd your pants."

"Oh, heh. Yeah better, uh, leave now." Dib then started running.

"And my revenge is finally complete." Gaz said.

Zim's Base

Zim entered the base. There he saw a tiny little robot with teal parts on his body.

"GIR!"

The little robot's teal parts turned red, he jumped over to Zim.

"Yes sir!" The robot said in a rough voice.

"GIR, there is this human that the other pathetic humans call Dib. This Dib appears to question my human, uh, how human I am, yeah... Anyway GIR I need to find a way to get rid of this human. Find human knowledge to get rid of this threat early and continue my mission." Zim said.

"Nah, I'LL WATCH THE CREEPY MONKEY SHOW!" GIR yelled out, suddenly with his teal parts back and a much more high pitched voice.

"That monkey... it's so... horrible." said Zim.

"Yeah I know." GIR said.

Zim just sighed with a face palm. He then marched into his lab, he was taken down by a tube, when he finally reached there, he started thinking up a plan.


	2. TheDibPlanofDoometyDoomYeah

**A/N: So... *insert comment here.* WAIT I CAN DO A JOKE! PERTEND I'M JERRY SEINFELD!**

 **Me: WHAT'S WITH NICK CANCELLING INVADER ZIM EH!?**

 **Audience: BOOOOO! THAT JOKE SUCKS!**

 **Invader Derp Productions Persents**

 **"Zim The Alien"**

Chapter 2: TheDibPlanofDoometyDoomYeah

Skool

Zim and Dib were in the detention room, with worried expressions on their faces.

"I HEARD THAT THEY TORTURED YOU IN THIS FILTHY ROOM!" Zim yelled.

"No they don't..." Dib said.

"WHY YOU ALWAYS LIEEEEEE!" Zim yelled.

"Zim calm down! I'm just worried! I accidently broke Gaz's GameSlave this morning! I got to fix it or else I'll be broken next!" Dib said.

Zim laughed, real hard.

"YEAH I LIKE TO HEAR A GIGGLE ONCE IN A WHILE!" Mr. Elliot, who happened to be watching them, yelled.

"No, I was just laughing to think that a little Earth creature could actually destroy him and his GIANORMOUS inhuman head!" Zim said, he continued to laugh.

Dib sighed and rolled his eyes he made a paper airplane and flew it, then it hit Mr. Elliot eye.

"AAAAAH! THE PAIN! THE PAAAAAIN!" Then he was knocked out cold.

"Great now we can leave."

"WAIT!" Dib said, he then pointed at a blinking thing at the top of the door.

"Eh? So that means... I'm... stuck... with you?" Zim asked.

"Yup."

"NOOOOOO!" Then Zim quickly became calm, "So what shall we do at this fine moment?" Zim asked.

"I don't know... what about we talk about how we got in here." Dib said.

"THAT MAKES SO SENSE AND DOESN'T HELP!" Zim said.

"Well what do you want me to tell you the time I got an ingrown toenail-"

"I think the first option suits best!" Zim quickly interrupted.

Membrane Household, BUT IN THE PAST

Dib woke up in the morning, he put on his glasses and put on his clothes.

"I have a feeling that this is going to be a great day!" Dib said. **(Nice GRBD reference eh?)**

Dib then stepped on something, it cracked.

"AAAAH! GAZ'S GAMESLAVE! SHE'S GOING TO LITERALLY KILL ME!" Dib said.

"Who's going to kill you?" Gaz said suddenly.

"Ah! Oh it's you Gaz.. hi?"

Gaz raised an eyebrow, "I feel like your up to something..."

"NOPE NOT AT ALL! HEY LOOK A UFO, OR BIGFOOT!"

Dib then ran away.

"Refrencing canon... he's definitely up to something."

Zim's Base

"GIR! I DEMAND YOU TO COME DOWN!" Zim yelled.

GIR fell down from the entrance, coming into Zim's lab.

"HIYA MASTER! I MADE MILKSHAAAKES!" GIR yelled.

Zim smacked GIR's milkshakes out of his metal hands.

"GIR! Tell me all the knowledge you have learned about the human brain." Zim demanded.

"Uh... I haaave no clue."

"What! Your a SIR unit aren't you?! You should tell me information you learned, THATS YOUR JOB!"

"Yeah, wait- no, wait- yeah, wait- no-"

"GIR GET SERIOUS!"

"YES SIR!" GIR yelled in duty mode, then he turned back to normal, "Uh... I learned that its reaaal pink, AND WRINKLY!"

"GIR, most brains from life in the universe have that." Zim said.

"Well... I dunno!" GIR said.

"Ugh, I should've known from the moment that you sung that Doom Song that you were stupid. Anyway GIR, I'm going to extract the Dib-human's brain, this will bring not one, but **2** victories! One, it'll eliminate Dib, allowing me to take over Earth with free will, two, it'll give me knowledge about human biology." Zim said.

"OKEEEE! I'LL JUST BE DOING STUFF!" GIR yelled, he then ran up the tube, while he was lifted up he went, "WEEEEEEEEE!"

Skool

Dib entered the classroom, he went to his seat, he pulled out Gaz's GameSlave and continued working on it.

"Dib!" Ms. Bitters said.

"What?" Dib said.

"Put that game of yours away! You can't have videogames in class!" Ms. Bitters said.

"But I'm not playing on it." Dib said.

"Are you sassing with me Dib!?" Ms. Bitters asked.

Dib sighed and rolled his eyes, he put it away. Zim then entered the room.

"HELLO FELLO EARTHMATES! ZIIIM HAS ENTERED!" Zim said.

"Yeah I don't really care." Sam said.

"Me too." Zita said.

"You Earthlings will regret ignoring ZIIIM!"

"No, no I won't." Brain said.

"Fine." Zim then marched to his desk.

"Anyway class, today we'll be talking about the dangers of watching the TV show known as... Teen Titans Go!" Ms. Bitters said.

Then a kid with a piano did a, "Dun dun duuun."

"Pia put that piano away!" Ms. Bitters said.

"Sorry." Pia said.

Zim rose his hand.

"What is it Zim!?" Ms. Bitters said.

"I have a need to use the filthy Earth bathtub." Zim said.

"Don't you mean a bathroom?" Ms. Bitters wondered.

"Oh, yes yes, a 'bathroom,' as we all call it." Zim said.

"Go! GOOO!" Ms. Bitters said.

"Anyway-" Dib rose his hand, "What Dib?"

"Ms. Bitters, what if Zim is going to do something in the bathroom!" Dib said.

"You mean take a number 1 or 2?" Ms. Bitters asked.

"No I mean bad things, like, really bad..." Dib said.

"Mmmm... no."

"Well can I use the bathroom."

"Is it an emergency?"

Dib looked at Ms. Bitters for a second, "Yes."

"Fine, go. GOOO!"

Dib grabbed Gaz's GameSlave and put it in his pocket, 2 for 1! Spy on Zim and fix Gaz's GameSlave.

Bathroom

Dib was in a stall, he was fixing Gaz's GameSlave.

"Almost done! Now for the last screw!" Dib said.

Zim did a quick laugh up in the vents.

"Foolish Earth creature," Zim whispered, "It's time for his DOOM, and this plan will be remembered as the TheDibPlanofDoometyDoomYeah!"

Zim pulled out a a device from his PAK, he lowered it down from the vent.

"Now lets just put it in slow motion!" Dib said.

Then he started moving the screw in slow motion.

"Wow this is going to be easy!" Zim said.

Then the device touched Dib's head, he smacked it away.

"WHO WAS DOING THAT!?" Dib said.

"UGH! If he only he didn't have a gianormous head!" Zim said.

"I heard that person! And by the way my head isn't big!" Dib said.

"Mmmmm.. yes it is." Zim said.

"Wait a minute! Zim?"

Zim fell from the vent, he then got up and brushed his uniform.

"HOW DID YOU TELL!?" Dib said.

"Well I wasn't sure, but I am now. Unless this is some hologram." Dib then went to poke Zim, "Well now I'm sure."

"Well Dib, I came here to extract your brain Dib!" Zim said.

"Well you aren't going to do it." Dib said.

Zim got all of his little spider legs from his PAK and pulled Dib to him.

"I think I did just did it." Zim said.

"Well... what if I did a DEUS EX MACHINA!" Dib then kicked Zim in the crotch, making Zim release Dib.

"OOH! MY THING I CAN'T DESCRIBE BECAUSE THIS IS A K+ FANFICTION! IT HURTS!" Zim said.

Dib started running away from Zim.

"Oh you won't get away that easily... you won't." Zim said.

Skool Hallways

Dib was running for his life, Zim was chasing him, obviously.

"YOU BETTER GIVE UP RIGHT NOW DIB! I'LL GET YOU EVENTUALLY!" Zim yelled.

"NO YOU WON'T!" Dib then slammed right into the wall.

"Heh, you just keep telling lies, Earth boy." Zim said, he then pulled out the device.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ZIM!" Dib hit the device away, breaking it.

"NOOOOOO!" Zim yelled.

Dib laughed. Zim went over and started beating Dib up, but Dib fought back.

"GAAAH!" They both went.

Then Mr. Joe, a kindergarden teacher walked by.

"Those booger pickers. I need a break from them." Mr. Joe said, then he saw Dib and Zim fighting, "WOAH WOAH WOAH! BREAK IT UP YOU TWO!" Mr. Joe said.

"But Mr. Joe! He tried to take my brain!"

Zim and Mr. Joe looked at Dib for a second.

"Ok, even I saw problems with that sentence!" Dib said.

"I have no choice but to give you two," Then Mr. Joe spoke in a demonic voice, "DETENTION! MUAHAHAHAH!"

"NOOOOOOO!" Dib and Zim yelled.

Detention Room, BUT IN THE PRESENT!

Mr. Elliot then woke up.

"Oh hey it's just the time you need to go!" Mr. Elliot said.

"Really? That only felt like 3 of the Earth minutes!" Zim said.

Mr. Elliot then touched the device stopping them from getting out.

"Password?" The device asked.

"MERASMUS!" Mr. Elliot said.

"Really?" Dib asked.

"Yes really." Mr. Elliot said, he then skipped out of the Skool.

Bathroom

Dib needed to use the bathroom for real right now, he then found a strange looking object on the floor.

"Hey what's this?" Dib said, it was cyan, it had a small symbol on it that was hard to make out. "I don't know, but I'll keep it just in case..."


	3. The Cube

**A/N: You know, I wonder if I suck. Mean I only get like, 1 follow or 1 favorite for every story, and only the same 2 people review my stories. Either that or I'm underrated, but anyway let's just continue.**

 **Invader Derp Productions Persents**

 **"Zim The Alien"**

Chapter 3: The Cube

"DIB I'LL GET YOU FOR TAKING MY GAMESLAVE!" Gaz yelled as she chased Dib.

Dib closed and locked his bedroom door.

"Well at least she didn't knew I broke it." Dib said when he closed his door.

"YOU BROKE IT!? WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOU'LL BE IN A FULL BODY CAST!" Gaz yelled outside the door.

"Well," Dib pulled out the cube he found in the bathroom at Skool, he stroked his chin, "I should give this cube thing to the Swollen Eyeball Network before I'll be buried in a grave."

Dib walked to his laptop, he contacted Agent Tunaghost.

"Hello, Mothman. How come you contacted me?" Tunaghost said.

"I found this little tiny cube thing. Could you do anything with this?" Dib asked.

"Hmm... I could. But you know the agency has a bunch of other things always being scanned. It's not like I'm going to give it to you in one hour." She said.

"Well a lot of that time will be spent in the hospital for me. So really doesn't matter." Dib said.

"How come? Are you injured?"

"Well, my sister will make sure of that."

"Wow, if you can be beat up by a little girl you must be a wimp. Wait was I just being sexist to my own sex?"

"Yeah, you kind of were."

"Dang it!" Tunaghost then disconnected, knocked down Dib's door.

"NOW! TO UNLEASH MY WRATH UPON YOU DIB!" Gaz yelled.

(Later)

Dib was in his bed in a full body cast. Then he heard the Swollen Eyeball Network tune. Dib got his crutches and went to his laptop.

"Hello Mothman- wow you weren't kidding weren't you?" Tunaghost asked.

"Yes, yes I wasn't kidding." Dib said.

"Well the little cube appeared to be some kind of file containment thing, like those little things your Dad puts into his computer as a kid and have no idea what it is." Tunaghost said, "Anywho, the files appeared to contain videos, but they were to powerful for the computer to play, well except for one blurry frame." Tunaghost showed the frame onto her screen so Dib could see, "Sorry that's all we could tell you."

"Don't worry. Just send the frame to me." Dib said, he disconnected, "Crap, it's useless.


	4. Cyia

**A/N: DJ Kane: Another one.**

 **Invader Derp Productions Persents**

 **"Zim The Alien"**

 **(Hm... have you ever creepily stalked anyone? No just me? Well I'm a creep.)**

Chapter 4: Cyia

A somewhat medium sized ship flew by Jupiter, it had an Irken symbol on it. It had something spray painted on it, _Cyia_. Inside the ship was an female Irken, she had beautiful cyan eyes, and had a uniform similar to an Irken elite, but not quite the uniform, kind of like Tak's. Her uniform was cyan as well as her eyes too. Next to her was a rusty SIR unit, although it was old and outdated, it worked very well to the Irken's taste.

"Yuoi." The Irken said.

"Yes ma'am!" Yuoi said, she was the SIR unit by the way.

"Check on the fuel, we're close to our target." The Irken said.

"Yes! Right away!" Yuoi said, she ran away, 2 minutes later she came back, "It is great!"

"Good, good..." The Irken pressed the button that said "Parkin' Button." She left the piloting room and entered a room with a bunch of blood and dead bodies of many aliens. She left that room to enter a room that was very dark except for this large green button in the middle of it. She slowly marched to it with her hands behind her back. She pressed the button, instantly a hologram showed a large alien showering.

"Do do do, AH WHAT THE!" The alien yelled.

"Sorry, sorry sorry sir."

"Well, let me get in clothing!" Once he had clothes, he came back, "How come you've contacted me, Cyia?"

"I'm close to the target's base planet."

"Good, remember, I want him DEAD, for proof, bring me one of his limbs so I know your not fooling me."

"I'm a bounty hunter, not a con artist." Cyia said.

"Well still!" The alien said, he disconnected.

Yuoi ran into the room. "MA'AM! I'VE PILOTED THE SHIP TO PLANET, 'EARTH,' SHOULD WE ABORT!?" Youi said.

"Yes, I'll lower the ship down, you get everything we need for this planet." Cyia said.

 _2 Minutes Later_

"Here we are, now first things first before anyone notices us, Youi." Cyia said, "We need disguises, so the native life will not kill us, thinking of us as a threat." Cyia said.

Cyia pulled out a little device and plopped it on her head, then it turned her to look like a human being, Cyia's disguise was blonde, had eyes that squinted like Gaz's, but had blue eyes when open, she also had a black turtleneck.

"Ah, great disguise, now it's your turn Youi." Cyia said, she gave the device she had on her head to Youi.

Then Youi turned into a little girl, she had blonde hair with blue eyes, two ponytails, and a pink little dress.

"Now, we'll set up a little house, something casual." Cyia planted something into the ground, then the a little eye scanned every house in the neighborhood.

"SCANNING HOUSES! AVERAGE HOUSE DETECTED! BEGIN BUILD!" Then the computer eye dug into the ground, very quickly the ship morphed into a house.

"Good, we're ready to begin Youi." Cyia said. Then they both walked into the house.

 _Skool_

"AND THAT'S WHY I LOOVE TO PUNCH INNOCENT PEOPLE!" A derpy little child said at the front of Ms. Bitters class.

"Great Joey that was horrible. You get an F."

"WHY!" Then Joey started crying.

"Anywho, apparently children, ANOTHER student besides Zim, will be coming to our classroom this year." Then Ms. Bitters said under her breath, "Stupid little children."

Then Cyia entered the room. "Hello, don't mind me just going to grab a seat... just they're not any." Cyia said.

"Oh yeah," then Ms. Bitters pressed a button sending Sam to the underground classrooms, "There, now you have a seat."

"Thank you, Ms. Bitters." Cyia said.

"Oh how sweet." Ms. Bitters said in a sarcastic sounding tone but wasn't sarcastic, and her cheeks where red.

 _Recess_

Zim was staring at Cyia strange. She acted weird. Most of the other students would play, but not this one. She READ during recess. READ I'M TELLING YOU! But strangest of all, she talked, to Dib. **(DUN DUN DUUUUN!)**

"So you know that guy in class with the green skin." Dib said.

"Oh yeah, what's his name?" Cyia asked.

"His name is Z-" Zim suddenly pushed Dib over the bench, "OW MY SPINE!" Dib yelled.

"You know Earth worm, I wonder why you don't do EARTHLY activites." Zim said.

"Uh, what?" Cyia said.

"HOW COME YOU DON'T!" Zim said.

Dib brushed his trench coat for dirt, "Zim, not EVERYONE does the same things." Dib said.

"YOU LIE DIB CREATURE! THOSE LITTLE DIRTY LIEEEEEES!" Zim said.

 _Zim! He's the one! But I can obviously tell this School has security cameras, there's no spot I can get away with destroying Zim, I'll probably have to do something else._ Cyia thought.

"Cyia! Can't you see he's an alien! I've known it all along ZIM!" Dib said.

"I believe you, mean he has horrible green skin, no ears, 3 fingers-"

"I'd just like to tell you little, 'Cyia,' that this green skin is from a skin disease, my ears, were chopped off by random thing, so was my finger!" Zim said.

Cyia just laughed. Dib joined in on Cyia's laughter.

"Fine, I'll just get you both. YOU BOTH!" Zim said, he ran away.

"Weird..." Dib said.

"Weird indeed Dib, weird indeed."


End file.
